Teaching English in Hanoi Haphazzardly - Part II

One of my favorite classes - Language Arts & Drama

As one 5-year-old boy jumped (again) over the small table resembling a Japanese chabudai, another boy flung something gooey from his mouth across the room. I tried to lasso the energy from the other rambunctious children into an organized cluster of Phonics-learning-focused students. The noisy mob resisted every single one of my fool-proof teacher tricks.

Food is cheap in Hanoi, especially if you frequent the street food vendors.
Not sure that we'll go to the "Eel House" again, though.

I'd been taught a mantra early on in teaching... "Rules are the foundation of effective classroom management". 
Whatever. 
Children have to understand what you're saying in order for that to work. 
Besides, rules are different in every culture. And this being my first class in Vietnam, I was still in the grasping stage of appropriate means of pupil wrangling. So far, I was learning that Vietnamese children can misbehave exactly the same as American children. We can thank television for that, my haggard voice echoed in my head.
So, I went with Plan B. 
I turned on the television.

The room quieted within seconds and my maniacal group of non-conformists melted together in front of the big screen. Only heavy breathing emanated from the dark holes that gaped open below their sniffers. "Meri's Super-Fun Phonics Monday" was replaced by Bob the Train teaching Phonics. I had 13 glorious minutes to figure out what to do for the rest of the hour and a half. 
Phonics for 5-ers for 1 1/2 hours??
What was I thinking when I signed up for that?

Don't 'Pokemon Go' and drive in Hanoi.
Traffic is dangerous enough already.

I almost burst out with a "Hallelujah!" when the classroom door creaked open and an adult emerged. But instead of a Teacher Assistant, a well-coiffed director walked in and stared disapprovingly at the mass of little bobbing heads glued to the colorful, singing train. I clapped in rhythm with Bob and pretended not to see her unsmiling stone-face looking my direction. But, curiosity got the best of me. She probably read self-conscious humiliation in my body language when my gaze shot from her cold eyes to the floor. Her black Gucci sandal lurked mere centimeters from the glistening glob of whatever it was the kid earlier had launched from his mouth. I visualized her perfectly polished piggies squealing "Wee-wee-wee-wee-wee!"all the way to the salon for an anti-bacterial pedi soak.

In true cruiser fashion, Carolyne and I hit the thrift shop for
used clothing. I needed garments without boat holes for work.

My situation wasn't ideal. But, after Whiny Baby snaked my classes I was left with a very difficult schedule to fill. I took what I could get. In the end, I wasn't chopped up into small pieces or turned into a sex slave when I went on an interview...
At night.
In a dark alley
At a stranger's house.
Instead, I was hired to teach Science and Phonics to different aged children at different schools by a lovely married couple. But, as the director bored holes into me with her eyes (which I think meant I was supposed to turn off the television), I had an epiphany. Teaching one subject for one and a half hours straight to 5-year-old students with no back-up is...
not my carafe of coffee...
which is how I ended up teaching Language Arts and Drama to 8-year-old angels instead.  

There are days I NEED this. Like every day.

I have my shyer children use puppets (or make their own)
to help them break out of their fear of English.
(Take THAT all of you who snubbed my Theater degree!)
((and BTW, many employers will grab up degree holders in Science, Business and "Drama"))
<sizzle sound>

I mentioned in my previous post that Jim and I read several blogs about foreigners and their experiences teaching in Vietnam before arriving in Hanoi. We decided beforehand that if Hanoi didn't "feel" right that we'd relocate. Some of my favorite blog stories came from these writers:

Our Big Fat Travel Adventure where Brits, Amy and Andrew, share their exploits of teaching in Hanoi. They also talk about work permits, how much money they made and teaching opportunities HERE. And thank you, Amy, for the Strepsils tip. I carry them everywhere!

An Overdue Adventure,written by Siobhan from the U.K., wrote this article on teaching in Hanoi for TESL Jobs World.

And we really loved reading Peter's Big Adventure. He has a wonderful post with lots of colorful descriptions in his Guide To Living in Hanoi. And, how he can be so hilarious after his traumatic teaching experience... well, it's a great read on how NOT to do it. If you like blackmail and threats of deportation stories, his stories are goodies.
WARNING: don't drink and read - can cause severe choking fit if beer goes down wrong way during gafaw!
Peter's Dumb Luck Part I
Peter's Dumb Luck Part II
Peter's Dumb Luck Part III

OTHER FACTORS TO CONSIDER 

WHEN TEACHING IN VIETNAM

We've been in Hanoi for five weeks now and I'm still not 100% sure how things work. But, here are some considerations if you're contemplating teaching:

Chinese checkers to pass the slow season

Length of Stay: I've found it difficult to secure employment because my commitment here is only three months. Many employers won't hire with less than a 6 month commitment. Some want a year contract. I know of some that demand a 2-year contract. Because I won't lie, I've been turned down by wonderful employers because it's not in their best interest to hire, train... and then lose an employee after 12 weeks. Completely reasonable.

Work Visa: Depending on who you ask, you'll likely get different answers. However, this is what I've gleaned.

Working on a 3-month Tourist Visa (which is legal) can be the cheapest route, but may not be totally hassle-free. Before the 3-months is up the Visa holder needs to extend their Visa (which I understand can be a circus if you hire the wrong agent) OR do what most foreigners do... leave Vietnam. Flights to Thailand are fairly cheap. I found a roundtrip flight 2-weeks out over 5 days (because if I'm going to Bangkok I want to see some of it, right?) for $134US. There are certainly cheaper ways, but $134 round-trip sounds wonderful to me.

Who's a cute Bozo Puppy in the tree??

But, other costs accrue quickly, including hotels, meals and shuttle service. A pre-Visa is required for most foreigners entering and re-entering Vietnam - each and every time, per person. That's $20US online for the paperwork. Then, there's $25US when you arrive. And there's the consideration that the school you're working for won't want to give you the time off to "get legal". In fact, they might not hire you at all. On the flip side, there are tons of qualified teaching foreigners looking for a quick buck who'd be willing to cover your classes in your absence and some schools appreciate your ability to find your own substitute.

Another option is to sign a contract with a school for a said period of time and having the school agree to pay for your working Visa. Just be sure to read Peter's escapades linked above before you decide to go this route.

Class Schedule: Unless you work at a public school full-time, many classes are in the evenings and on the weekends. The "prime-time" is from 5:30-7pm. I jumped for joy when one of the directors added a class to my schedule Saturday night. I now work from 3:45-6:15pm... in the same building!... which brings us to...

A cheaper way to shop

Location: Hanoi is a huge city. It's a headache alone trying to piece together a smart and efficient teaching schedule. I learned quickly that accepting jobs in districts outside my Google Map self-made perimeter cost me time and money just getting from Point A to Point B. I don't accept those jobs anymore.

Living Arrangements: In hindsight, I like what we did as Hanoi Newbies. We booked a cheap-ish room at a hotel in the French Quarter for a month with decent internet, A/C and a fridge near the street food vendors. No cooking, no cleaning, no utility bills = Happy Meri! Our hotel has a queen and a double for $500US a month. It's a great location to stay temporarily until landing a more permanent job. Afterward, apartment hunting in the district where you're working is smart.

I'm an enormous elephant next to the miniature Vietnamese.
But, we seem to dress similarly- covered up!

Carolyne makes new friends everywhere she goes!

Lesson Plans: Even though I thought I would HATE (in capital letters) teaching English to pre-schoolers, Whiny Baby left me two back-to-back classes.
He's a saint.
But I realized after the first day, qualified Teacher Assistants offered support and provided the curriculum and lesson plans at the center. This is way easier.
I come in.
I'm given an easy lesson plan.
I go over the lesson plan in class.
Then...
There's singing and games and dancing. The blocks are only 45 minutes each.
Way...
More...
Manageable.
Thank you, Whiny Baby!
I am having so much fun and my kids and I ROCK the Hokey Pokey!

Seriously - just because a class has a book (and some don't), it doesn't mean there are activities to accompany the curriculum. Coming up with ideas for 45 minutes is a breeze compared to an hour and a half. I've found flashcards at local stores, I've used puppets, I've brushed up on songs I haven't sung in years and I'm currently learning how to make animal balloons. It might be a disaster... or it might be fun. I'll let you know in Part III.

Tom Yum Hot Pot OR Lau Thai

And there are things I haven't even thought of yet to add to this list (or things I can't write about yet, like pay, because I haven't been paid yet)... so it will have to wait for a month or so until I discover if I'll tap dance or rant in Part III. I prefer the tap dance. Until then, my next post will be about the FOOD!!

Teaching English Haphazzardly in Hanoi - Part I

The beautiful Dragon Fruit

I don't think when I hailed the GRAB moto-taxi (similar to Uber) that the driver expected I'd take the company name so literally. Freshly new to Hanoi, I clung tightly to the driver's waist as he zipped and dodged his motor bike through heavy rush-hour traffic along Hanoi's buzzing streets and highways. At a noisy traffic jam, he hesitated only briefly before veering up over the hump of a curb and speeding down the sidewalk as unsurprised pedestrians stepped out of his way. No one shook their fist at us. No one yelled obscenities. The rebel in me couldn't stop smiling as I reminded myself to keep my knees and elbows close to the bike as we brushed dangerously close to trees and light poles.

Caroyne's Colorful New Friend

The Dragon Fruit with Red Flesh Tastes Better than the White

The gray of dusk settled. I was too afraid to let go of the driver to check my phone for the time. But, I worried I'd be late. He suddenly jerked up a dark alley. If I'd wanted, I could've touch the cracked walls of old buildings on either side, so pulled my thighs in tighter across the bike's padded seat. I hoped I wasn't sending off some moto-taxi sexual message when my knee caps vice-gripped the driver's hips. None of the locals riding on the back of motos seemed to hang onto their drivers for dear life, enveloping them like a desperate hotdog bun.

We turned at high speed from the narrow alley into a lane. Women cooked beside the street on either side of us, crouched down stirring delicious recipes that filled the air with tummy-rumbling smells. Men chatted together, smoking long wooden meter-long pipes that gurgled gently as they sucked nicotine into their lungs. A woman on a bicycle selling flowers took off her conical hat and wiped her deeply-lined cheeks with a cloth, staring into my foreign face with her brows furrowed. We darted up a narrow drive and stopped. I paid the driver 22,000 Vietnamese dong for my thrill ride - exactly $1US.

Selling tea cups, plates and tupperware

A plastic passenger

Hoan Kiem Lake at night

I stared at the ancient house- partially crumbled, adorned with fierce dragons racing across its rooftop with pointed corners that curled up like the tips of Aladdin's shoes. The lovely pagoda was in the oldest Hanoian neighborhood where proud descendants still lived in their family homes. Little shoes lined up along the wall told me where to find the entrance, a large black door left wide open in expectation of my arrival. A 40ish-year-old Vietnamese man greeted me and invited me into his home. After serving me a glass of water, he sat down in front of me - ready to conduct the interview. I asked myself what I was doing.
At night.
In a dark alley.
At a stranger's house.
Interviewing to teach English.

Our whole purpose of spending three months in Hanoi was so I could explore the teaching possibilities. We'd heard teaching English was BIG in Vietnam. And what we discovered was...
it's bigger.

But when we arrived...
I had no leads.
I had no friends.
I had little clue. Okay, I had virtually NO clue.

Fan dancers in the park

Before we left our sailboat, Hotspur, in Fiji and leapt into Asia, we'd read several blog sites from travelers who had done what we were considering doing. I say "we", but Jim wasn't (and still isn't) considering teaching. And Carolyne is a wee bit young yet... (however we're thinking of seriously sending her through a CELTA course for certification. Seriously.) But, I came to Hanoi prepared for job hunting. I'd read up on what employers wanted. And I fit the bill... except for the 20-40 age guideline, which I'd hoped no one would notice.

My credentials were in order, referred to in Vietnam as a "Curriculum Vitae" or "CV" for short. They include:
A cover letter
A resume geared toward teaching
A scanned copy of my University transcript
My TEFL online certificate completed August 2016 (Four weeks before arriving in Hanoi, I signed up for an online ESL teaching certificate to boost my chances of getting hired. I signed up with Uni Prep,a 120-hour course for $250... which I finished in less than 48 hours. Some of the more serious international schools don't accept this type of credential.)

In addition, I included a photo of me teaching students in American Samoa, a letter of recommendation from a previous school where I taught and a one page scanned copy of a magazine article I had published in March... to show off my writing and grammar skills.

First, if you are from a country where "discrimination" is a dirty word, then coming to Vietnam might shake you up. Get ready - there is nothing wrong with an employer asking your age and if you get upset about that, you lessen your chances of getting hired. In fact, your CV should include a headshot (or professional-ish photo of your face) and probably should include your age (though I left my age off and hoped my Porcelana skin would radiate "forever youth" through my photo). That's another thing about discrimination in Vietnam - lighter skin is revered. Is that wrong? It just is what it is. Maybe a woman is preferred over a man and the ad might say so. Maybe Russian English is secondary to New Zealand, Canadian or American English. Maybe "beauty" is preferred to superb teaching skills. Here, no one hides under a pretense of "fair hiring practices". Fairness doesn't exist.

Before dinner with our friends, Joe and Marilyn, as Jim
goes for the fluffy-hair-in-the-fan look

Then, there was a problem of dodging the "scammers". It wasn't that there weren't any leads... there were tons. But who is honest and wonderful to work for? And who's a liar and thief? So, before hitting the pavement I joined several Facebook groups talking about teaching and hiring teachers and about Hanoi in general. You get a great feel for credible employers.... and ones you might want to avoid:
Hanoi Massive Jobs
Hanoi English Teaching Jobs
Hanoi Teachers
English Teachers in Hanoi
School and Center Rating
and I'm still awaiting a response from a group I'm interested in joining because I can't wait to read about skanks and their devious ploys to entrap unsuspecting teaching hopefuls:
Hanoi English Teacher Bad Experiences Exchange.

Carolyne strolling around Hoan Kiem Lake, 
close to where we're living

It was through one of these Facebook groups I met Daren, a rockin' good teacher from New York City who needed to go home for a couple months and wanted to recruit a substitute teacher to cover his block of classes until he returned. He wanted to make a decision quickly, so I agreed to meet him at a cafe to discuss the details only four days after we arrived in Hanoi (and I'd had time to recoup from a nasty respiratory and gut flu). I ordered a coffee and waited. I was pleasantly surprised when a tall, handsome black man with long dreds gently salted with smidgens of gray walked through the door. We introduced ourselves and he sat down, removing his folding reading glasses from his pocket as he ticked off his teaching schedule. In the end, I was the perfect fit. I agreed to commit to his schedule and hold it sacred until his return in October.

Pokemon Go just started in Vietnam this week

Transport isn't always motorized - or safe

$1 Beer Corner attracts more locals than tourists

Daren is living proof that no matter what you hear the odds are against (more melanin, more gray hair, wrinkles, a Bohemian vibe v.s. Armani...) if you're a good teacher and a likable person, then the odds are favorable.

But sadly, my block of classes didn't quite work out as I expected. Before Daren left Vietnam, over half his classes I'd been promised were gifted to someone else by the director at the school to some whiny baby who threatened to quit without notice if he didn't inherit more hours. Daren is way cooler than Whiny Baby and will get his classes back upon his return in October, I'm sure of it.  But for me - since Whiny Baby didn't take all Daren's classes (which would have been preferable)- I found myself juggling a jigsaw puzzle of higgledy-piggledy open and closed slots... which is how I found myself at an interview.
At night.
In a dark alley.
At a stranger's house.
Thank you, Whiny Baby.
Really. I mean it.
Thank you.

Part II To Come...

The Coffee Culture in Hanoi

A hole-in-the-wall coffee shop with free Wifi filled to the brim with locals.
Cafe Dinh has great coffee at a great price.

Vietnam is the world's second largest exporter. It's a country that runs on coffee.

One of the first discoveries we made in Hanoi was the endless amount of coffee shops. Coffee is a big part of society here. It's for the young and old - the rich and poor - the creative and lame. Coffee is an all day affair. But, it's not just the quantity of coffee... it's the quality. Coffee in Hanoi is exceptional to what we've been drinking the past several years.

A typical Vietnamese coffee consists of espresso rich java mixed with a little condensed milk. It's delightful... served either hot in a ceramic cup or over ice cubes in a tall, clear glass.

But unlike Jim and Carolyne (who can eat sugary sweets without any love handle, muffin top or piggly-jiggly setbacks), I have to be very careful. I've found I dislike the plain black coffee here, which I parallel to drinking a thick, steeping wad of dark tobacco leaves spat out by an ogre with a bad case of gingivitis. It's terribly bitter. I contribute its popularity to the vast amount of cigarette smokers in Hanoi who have whacked out taste buds and don't realize they're drinking what amounts to the offal in a spittoon. I haven't dared to try the espresso, which might be fatal.

We try to sit upwind of the cigarettes, also very popular

Jim sitting on his bitty chair in a crowded coffee shop

Instead, I adore a beautiful latte. And the latte art is as divine as the drink itself. I've discovered beautiful lattes cost between $2 and $3. It's less sugar than the typical Vietnamese coffee, which we've found as cheap as 75 cents, but I prefer the milkiness of the latte and it has less sugar,

Coffee outlets selling beans, grounds
and accoutrements are popular

Anywhere in Hanoi, you might find weird coffee combos like:
Egg Coffee
Yogurt Coffee
Coconut Coffee
Sea Salt Coffee
Coffee with Lime

Carolyne, who drinks coffee now and then, can't handle the strength of the Vietnamese brews. Instead, she suffers through the endless smoothie drinks made with local fruits.

Looking miserable with a freshly blended strawberry smoothie

We are not City People - but we are now

Statue of Ly Thai To, who relocated the capital from Hoa Lu to Hanoi

Dragons are ornamental and BIG everywhere

Jim, Carolyne and I left our beloved sailboat, Hotspur, in the calm recesses of Savusavu and flew to Vietnam to research money making opportunities. Having spent the past several years on quiet islands with relaxed and laid-back people, it was more than just a culture shock coming to Vietnam.

Rickshaws carrying tourists along Hoan Kiem Lake

A Topiary Herd

Arriving in Hanoi was a jolt. It wasn't just the traffic that prompted “deer in the headlights” expressions on all three of us. It was the total disregard of traffic lights, vehicles speeding down streets in the wrong lanes and the plethora of motorbikes that imitate a swarm of confused insects going different directions in a mad rush to get somewhere. Crossing the street on foot takes a bit of finessing. I've learned to open my eyes now while doing it. Week one I caught the flu, slipped on granite stairs flat on my back and met a cool dude from NYC who asked me to take his English classes while he went on vacation through October. 

Little ladies in conical hats carrying shoulder pannier
baskets makes an iconic street scene

 The flu knocked me down and I stayed in bed for two days straight, unable to keep my eyes open for more than an hour at a time. It started in my head, went into my chest and ended with a grand flu-finale in my gut. Luckily, we found a nice hotel and I sank into the comfort of a cushy bed, air conditioning and a stocked fridge. Thankfully, Jim and Carolyne were spared.

Hanoi Gortage Hotel - $29 a night with French Balcony

A broken water pipe at Hanoi Gortage sent us next door to the
Impressive Hotel... SO nice!! Yes, those are rose petals on our sheets.

Around the corner from our hotel is St. Joseph Cathedral - popular for weddings.

A trip to the History Museum

When I finally WAS able to get out and about, I walked to the grocery store. It felt wonderful to get outside and enjoy some of the daily sites. “Wonderful” lasted until slipped on a wet patch in the grocery store, causing my feet to fly into the air. I fell hard on the edge of the granite stairs, producing a black butterfly in a men's size 12 across the top third of my butt crack. I hobbled out of the grocery store and went shopping for a new pair of flip flops with tread. 

This picture is a small glimpse into Hanoi's "moto madness"

Love the hair - and no hands

Plenty of street vendors

Wearing face masks is common, as is long-sleeved hooded jackets with built in hand covers
 to protect from the sun and dust

Before I left Fiji, I scanned a copy of my University transcript and wrote up a resume to teach English in Hanoi. I also had a scanned copy of my TESOL certificate. But, finding a job for only three months proved more challenging than I expected. Very few (if any) centers want to hire a teacher for short term. Luckily, I met an American man from New York who needed a substitute for his classes through October. It was a perfect fit. Unfortunately, it wasn't a full schedule so I am still trying to find temporary work to fill in the dead days. 

Rickshaw driver trying to drum up business

A street vendor selling trai nahn - or lychee

Jim waiting impatiently for me to scurry across the busy street